The one with the weigh in...

Well, it's been 1 week without carbs. You know what that means? That's right... WEIGH IN!!!

*drum roll*

I lost 8.6 pounds! At one point this week, I was down 10 pounds. I don't know what the difference is.. but I'm happy with that loss. Why? Because I lost the wedding weight!

So, we're onto week two. I'm going to be honest with you- I ate an atkins product last night that was for phases 2-4.. but it was good and I don't regret it!

Today, we're having a cookout at work and then there is a BBQ tomorrow. I'm hoping I can resist everything for these 2 days.. but if I can't.. i'll just pick up where i left off and deal with the consequences. Life happens.. as they say...

But here's hoping to being on point!

short and [not so] sweet..

Well, hello world!

I don't have a lot to say today. I got a promotion at work, so i'm in "training," but i don't have my own access to the system and my phone isn't working.. so there's that.

The eating has been going well. I definitely feel a ton better than I did this past weekend. Though I do miss my array of foods, I haven't really been plagued with carb cravings. I miss my oatmeal because it was tasty and I can only eat so much meat and eggs in the morning!

Well, that's all.. just wanted to pop in...

The one with the first low carb weekend re-cap..

I took the weekend to not eat carbs. I'm not going to lie, I had a moment of "what the hell am I doing??" on Saturday and almost gave up. But, I've committed to 1 month, so I'm going to give it an honest shot.

Well, my wedding weight is gone. Beyond that, I'll report on Friday.

So, I've been eating mainly meat. It's a lot more meat and a far fewer veggies than I had been eating previously. I'm not used to that. On Friday, we had chicken with cheese and bacon. After that, I was immediately over bacon. J and I ended up having bacon wrapped scallops on Saturday. So far, Sunday's dinner was my favorite- eggplant pizzas.

Now, I loaded my pizza with meat and cheese (sorry.. that's how I've *always* liked my pizza), but it was very delicious! It was a fork and knife kind of pizza, but I'm sure I can fiddle with the recipe and make it more "french bread" like. Basically, you cut an eggplant in half- hollow it out, fill it with toppings/sauce of your choice. What I like about this is I can make it for low carb friends, healthy eating friends, and people that don't care about either of that! The strangest part? I hate eggplant.. but it was gooooood!

Rewind. Saturday was the worst day so far. I really wanted some bread. That's all.. a piece of bread. I felt sick and tired and hated this all. Twon said that 2 or 3 days in I would be very sluggish and it would be the worst.. then I would get over that hump and be okay. I'm hoping that was the hump.. 'cause it sucked. Yesterday, I felt okay.. but I had gone out to lunch with my mom and husband. I had a small cup of chili (which while still low carb.. had more carbs than expected) and seared ahi tuna.. which had a sweet sauce that I had to dab off... so maybe that little bit of sugar made the rest of my day better. Plus the eggplant.

So.. that's about all I have for now. I'm hoping the worst is over.. but I promise to freak out if I need to here :)

The one with no carbs...

Well, it's Friday. My day 1 at low carb. I remember when I was in high school, I tried to do low carb with my mom. I didn't really care about it and did fine, but she couldn't stick to it. As soon as she gave in, I was like, "ok." I dunno.. I've never had an urge to do low carb before. Here's hoping for some stick-to-itiveness.

So, I had a weigh in this morning. I was expecting a 10 pound gain (I've been eating like mad and I assumed between weight and water retention, it'd be there), instead, it was a 6 pound gain. This brings me down 14 total. I expect my first week or 2 to be a big loss if for nothing else than the water that my body is clearly hanging onto (as I'm able to tell by the tightness of my ring). I love my ring. Yes, it's very pretty which I love the most.. but it's a great gauge of sodium and water retention!

So, yeah, 6 pounds I have to lose before I'm back in the real losing-ness.

Breakfast was delicious. An omelet with chicken, cheese, chia seeds, and love. Lunch will be a salad with chicken and feta. I don't have any snacks on hand.. I'll probably pick some up on my break.

Well, I feel good so far. I had my lemon water, I'm drinking iced tea, and I have a healthy plan for the day including many veggies.

Also, I'm back to posting in my other food blog (or will be by mid-day).

That's all I have for today. I'll be back on Monday full of zero sugar crankiness. It'll be awesome!

The one with[out] all the money..

Growing up is hard to do.

I knew that after getting married J and I would be combining both finances and debt. I was always prepared for this. He has more debt, but much better credit. He also makes about twice what I do. I was prepared for my stuff to be the crutch- that which overwhelmed. I was mistaken.

I guess because of the fact that my credit sucks.. and I've been working on it.. I don't have much in the way of debt. I'm not used to such high monthly payments.

I'm not complaining.. It's just very strange making a budget with someone else.. someone with bills... I'm not used to how this works- his money, my money, our money..

Did I mention growing up is hard?

Tomorrow starts the low carb. It cannot come any sooner! I'm so sick of eating crap- but getting in the last little bits. Fun times.

The one without the title...

So, I'm reading the Atkins book.. well.. skimming it anyway. It has vegetarian options which makes me giddy! I don't eat much in the way of meat and don't want that to change. Also, I think i'll be able to combine it with WW's Simply Filling plan.. which is, as I understand it, basically low carb/mostly whole lean foods... which will all combine with my efforts of natural eating.

I feel like a freak- combining all of these options. I really don't use sweeteners much, so I'm hoping that this doesn't increase it. Anyway... I'll give the program one month. I'm not taking the month and saying "if I lose [X] pounds, I'll stay on it." What I am saying is that if it works and I find that I'm able to keep it in line with my... what's the word i'm looking for here... preferences? then, I'll continue. If not, I'll go back to healthful eating and counting points.

My dear sweet Twon is going to work with me on it. He's going to talk me through things (I like to talk ad nauseum about things I'm doing) when I need an outlet.. and we'll be able to relent.. and I won't tempt him with pizza and breaded foods.

Well, I'm weighing in on Friday. I expect to have gained 10 pounds because I have been gorging myself.. plus I'm having last hurrahs with carbs (something I've never given up!).. but then the weightloss posts will be more constant. I'll be weighing daily, but I'll announce on Fridays as an official weigh in. I have an app on my iPod touch that will help me track everything.

I'm very scared... nervous... thirstyexcited. This is really supposed to help with PCOS (I tried to link an article.. but there are a ton) and I want to be able to conceive when J and I decide to try to have kids. That is honestly and truly my motivation. Sure, i need to lose weight (which is what I've been doing here all along.. or trying anyway), but my biggest reason was for my future.. not for a bikini.

Ok.. i really need to drink some water.

The one with all the promises..

Welp, I got married. The weather held out wonderfully! It was great to see family and friends and celebrate with everyone!

Our food a the wedding was not the healthiest. J was in charge of ordering it and he ordered for 100 people... we had about 60 (if you include children), so we have so much food left over. I wanted to donate it to a homeless shelter, but J's mom offered to freeze it for us. Though i'm loving the left over buffalo chicken, I'm officially over ziti and chicken parm!

So, I took a break from the diet/weight loss for the wedding- didn't want to stress. I was eating healthy (until this past week) and trying.. but things definitely got out of hand with parties, events, and leftovers. So, I decided to try to combine efforts- I've decided to try a low carb diet combined with whole eating. Low carb is really very good for PCOS (which I have), so I figured might as well give it a shot.

Now, I'm going to start this on Friday, so I have 3 days to get as much information on low carb/healthy eating as possible. I don't eat much meat and don't really want that to change too much. I can replace meals with tofu and eggs. I have my notebook and my pen.. I'm ready to learn!

Anyway, that's all I have for now. I haven't weighed myself... Friday's confession is going to be terrible.. but I'm going to be honest!!

Ok.. I've been out of work for a few days.. I should get back to it.

we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog.. to bring you this crap..

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there ~Cheshire Cat Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland

Sometimes, when you're feeling lost and don't know where your life is heading.. it's unexpectedly the freest time of your life. You can do anything! Pick up and move? Check. Have a tryst with a sexy foreigner? Fine! Big and small decisions that you make because you're feeling lost could be what brings you to your happiness. Maybe you meet that foreigner when you move across the country and fall in love, get married, and get that perfect job that only exists there.

I'm just in one of those moods where I don't feel like talking about myself.. I just feel like thinking. What better place to think than on the internet?

Oh.. p.s. I fixed my hair.

The one with the unnatural disaster!

I'm getting married in 3 days. I'm pretty excited to be married AND to get all this wedding stuff over with!

I'm a pretty laid back kind of girl. The kind of laid back where I go from a year to planning a wedding.. to a month. The kind of laid back where I'm wearing a bridesmaid's dress instead of a wedding dress. The kind of laid back where I'm just now starting to get groomed for the wedding (I really hate tweezing).

Luckily, I had some foresight.

It had been months since I last colored my hair. My roots were looooong. So, I decided to color my hair 1 week before the wedding. I used a color I've used many many times. So, I plop it on my head.. let it sit.. then wash it of. The following is an accurate* account of what happened:
Me: "OH MY GOD!!!!"
Jon: "What??"
M: "Come here! Now!"
J: opens the door, I'm in the shower "What's up?"
M: "MY HAIR IS GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
J: "What?"
M: "My hair!!! It's grey!! It is a blue grey silver! I can't believe this!!"
J: "What can I do?"
M: "Go to the store and buy me dark brown hair dye!"
J: "What?"
M: "Hair dye! Now! 2 Boxes!!"
J: "huh?"
M: "I can't believe this is happening!"
J: "Why don't you wash the color out and dry it and see how it looks"
M: "fine."

Fast forward to when my hair is dry. The roots.. blonde. The rest? White with a tint of silver. 1 week before my wedding! Even re-writing that I am filled with anxiety. Sure, I've had bad dye jobs, but when I'm blonde, it's pretty simple and straight-forward. This, was unexpected.

I was up today at 5am to try to fix it. I've blended it better, but it's still silver. Here are my options- Go brown and hope that it covers the silver and doesn't turn the color of brass.. lighten the top and make it look more blendy.. say "eff it" and just not care.

I've decided a combination of the last two. The idea that the brown could turn on me as well is scary. I will try to lighten the top and see if that does anything. If it does not.. I'm not going to worry about it. It happened, my photographer can fix it in photoshop. I'm getting married.. and in 5 days, I'll not have to worry about anything.. 'cause all I'll have is the memory and my husband.

But I'm still freaking out a little... I can't wait to go back to talking about diet and the gym!

The one with all the terrible food...

It's pretty interesting to feel the difference in your body when you eat different things.

This past weekend, I ended up throwing all food rules out of the window (but still managed to drink my lemon water every morning!) I knew it was going to happen- my bach party was Saturday and Mother's Day Sunday. But.. let's evaluate the damage, shall we? What's a confession without actually confessing anything?

Friday: This day started with the best of intentions. I ate my breakfast for lunch and went for a walk. Then... it hit me! I was HUNGRY! So I ordered a grilled cheese. When I got home, I was in one crappy mood. Some things happened that made it worse. Anthony came over and I decided to eat my mood away. Whenever I do this, it's always a conscious decision. The only time I'm an emotional eater is when I'm pissed off. It's strange.. but I recognize it.
Saturday: I ended up skipping breakfast. Lunch was ok.. left over turkey burgers. Then... dinner. We drank a bit before going out.. then our des driver came and took us to Sonic in Peabody. I ate mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, and split a chili cheese tater tot order! Drinking continued. Come 10:30, I was suddenly eating General Gao's chicken.
Sunday: After drinking, i'm one of those people that like to eat a greasy/heavy meal. I ate Anthony's leftover chicken (4 pieces). Then, we had brunch at around 11:30. Eggs, sausage, french toast, fruit.. it was so good (and cooked by the wonderful hubby-to-be). Later, I took a nap, had some toast, then had half a calzone and mozzarella sticks.

Did you even see one vegetable in that list? Well, the turkey burgers had mushrooms.. and the chili had tomatoes... does that count?

So, today, I feel like instead of blood, I have lead. I started my day with an extra large Green Monster, and some oatmeal (which I've barely touched). I expect dinner to be nice and light.

So, there you have it. I went from clean, healthy eating... to diving into a diet that would make most people shudder (as well it should!)

Next week is the wedding. I don't expect to go over the deep end with eating then. My plan of action will be to start both days with lemon water and a green monster. I'll load up on salad/veggis and not drink (save for a toast or two with the new husband!) But, if I eat a plate of lasagna on Friday night, and chicken parm on Saturday.. I'll be okay with that.. because the happiness of the day will be more important than the way my body feels right now.. and I won't regret anything... this I vow. Crap! I have to write vows!!

The one with the unsolicited advice...

You know that song that goes "Everybody's workin' for the weekend!"?? Well, it's true! Whatever your weekend might be, everybody wants it! This week, I've been talking about
not rushing through life... but as we all know, sometimes it's inevitable (especially when you get to Friday!)

Sometimes, however, your quest for the weekend can turn into a Friday funk! It drags and you feel like you're being held captive! After a conversation with one of the higher-ups at my company, I've decided to write a post full of ideas to get out of a Friday Funk!

• First, I vote for think positive! It's okay to think about what your plans are for the weekend, but don't be itching to get out. Think more like "XYZ is going to be fun!" not "OMG, I can't wait to get out of this place!!!!!!JOQEFU!!&#@(&#"
  
• Take your lunch later if you can. This is something that I find helps me a lot when my day feels like it's going slow. If I take my lunch after 2pm, by the time I get back, my afternoon just flies by!
  
• Keep busy! Sometimes I leave tasks I can until Friday. I usually don't get handed any assignments, so I can keep busy with easy but large tasks.
  
• Sleep in a little. If you usually wake up early and get to work early (like I do!), I find it helps my day if I come to work on time instead of early.
  
• Stop looking at the time! When I worked for the bank, I would cover the time on my computer and phone and just let the day run away.
  
• Eat a good breakfast! This sort of goes along with the taking lunch later thing. If you're not starving early, you're not anxiously anticipating lunch!
  
• Take all breaks allotted to you! I generally skip non-lunch breaks, but if I allow myself my 2 15 minute breaks, then that's a full 30 minutes less time I have to worry about working! And you can break up your work time into manageable little stints!
  
• Duck out 5 minutes early. If you just can't make it to the end of your day.. if you don't do it often and/or won't get in trouble for it... just leave!
  

Those are some of my ideas. Do you have any of your own?

The one where she talks about patience...

They say patience is a virtue. It's something I've never been very good at. In recent days/weeks/months, I have tried to become more centered. The wedding is challenging my attempts, but I'm still working through it.

Every once in a while, I send J a request via email for help with the wedding. Often times, his answer is "I don't know" or "remind me later." Earlier this week, I asked him for email addresses. He directed me to his mother and ended it there. I had a moment of infuriation. Did his mom have his friends' email addresses? I think not! So, I replied with a very snarky email. Without a response, I wrote back apologizing for my frustration and explaining my point of view. I felt a bit better.

Another example is my driving. Oh, my driving. I speed. I know I do it and I know I should not. I also get impatient with people on the road (but I am not a honker.) The other morning, L and I went to Dunkin Donuts. There was a guy in an SUV that was blocking my way into the parking lot. There were plenty of spaces he just was either not going into one, or waiting for some lady to pull out. I got frustrated. I couldn't go around him- I couldn't even back out. I honked once. I felt frustrated and mean. When he finally pulled into a spot, I pulled into one that had been open the whole time (right in front of the door). We go in, order our tea, and wait. The guy came in and ordered his stuff. The guy looked genuinely nice. He spoke very kindly to the girls behind the counter. He looked jolly. I felt terrible. Maybe he wasn't confident that he could fit into spaces.. I just don't know. But this happened on Tuesday morning and I still feel bad. I'm sure he doesn't even remember.

I find myself reminding myself to be more patient when I drive or am waiting. People who are patient are happier and likely live longer lives. I want to be one of those people.

I've been working on it internally. People I work with have always thought me to be perky and happy, but people that know me understand that I get impatient and fidgety. I would like to move the calm, happy, perky person into my personal/private life.

The one with all the scratching

Starting the morning off with oatmeal! It's actually very good.. and not hot which I enjoy. It's too filling though! I'll be eating the other half for lunch.. which may be good for my diet.. is not very good for my other blog.

Have I mentioned my itchy chest? For the past 2 weeks or so, my chest has been really very itchy. I've been thinking it's nerves, but sometimes it's so itchy I can't imagine it being in my head! I still keep assuming it's nerves. J, however, is not convinced. He thinks I might be having a food allergy. He made a good argument by pointing out that my eating habits have changed quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. However, he then weakened his argument by saying that my chest was likely the only thing affected because that's where the esophagus travels. Oh, poor J.. even he knew how ridiculous that sounded!

It did get me thinking about what I've been doing for the last two weeks. Is there anything I've been eating regularly? The only think I could come up with is my lemon water. Now, I know I'm not allergic to lemon. I think we all can agree I'm not allergic to water. So could this be the culprit?

After extensive research (one google search, 2 clicks, and 5 minutes) I've decided this could be my body detoxing from all the bad stuff i've been eating all my life. This actually does make complete sense. I've been doing the lemon water for 2 weeks (which is how long I've been itching) and doing the cleaner eating. But why is it lasting so long? Maybe I have reserves of crap in my system? Maybe I'm still eating things that are not that great for me and the body is trying to flush it out? Who knows?

Whatever the reason for the prolonged itching, I will enter my home tonight armed with natural remedies to ease the itching!

Usually, I wouldn't care.. but my wedding dresses have exposed chests and i'd like for it not to be red and splotchy! Oh well.. I have 9 days to get my skin cleared up!

The one where she yaks..

I'm not feeling very well today. I drank my green monster, but I wanted oatmeal.. but the overnight oats recipe I have is online and my internet was down all night/morning. Now I keep trying to eat a little and I think it's just making it worse. I actually haven't had much of an appetite for the past few days (since maybe Thursday or Friday).

I lose my appetite for a week or so every other month.. this usually coincides with my period (and on off months, I'm ravenous!) But every once in a while.. every couple of years or so.. I lose my appetite for months. Now, the good thing about that is I tend to lose weight when that happens (woo!) the bad thing is that i don't really eat much and that's not entirely healthy. I'm hoping this one is just for a week.. but I have a feeling it's the long one...

I don't really have much else to say. I took some awesome pictures for my other blog (cleanereating.wordpress.com since my links are all wonky), but my internet is down and I can't post them! Oh well.. tonight.

The one with all the green..

I am a very positive person. I see the silver lining of every cloud and try to see good in every body (though sometimes it's hard). Interestingly enough, I am also very judgmental. Anyone that knows me recognizes that I have issues with the way I am perceived by others. It's one of the biggest things I wish to change about myself. Something I do not want to pass onto my children.

I've been working very hard at changing my attitude and life.

Recently, I stumbled upon a blog called Operation Beautiful. I love the idea behind this and may start leaving my own notes around town.

These changes I'm making in my life are first and foremost for health. Weight loss and beauty are secondary, and I feel very good about that.

Changes I've noticed involve feeling less sluggish and fewer instances of bloat. My skin has been glowy and soft. And my attitude toward food is changing. I'm still not in love with vegetables, but I find myself wanting to eat them.

Yesterday, for instance, I went to TGIFriday's with my mother. I ordered a salmon and rice dish that came with broccoli. I hate broccoli, but the girl said it was the only veggie they had. I had no intention of eating, but after eating most of the salmon and half the rice, I knew I needed to get some veggies in me. I ate the broccoli. Not all of it, mind you, but probably half of it. This is not something I would usually do. Sure, a past incarnation of myself may have tried it, but this was different- I kept coming back for more! I still think the stuff is gross, though.

But today I'm back on the veggie bandwagon. I made a green monster that was very tasty and very simple.. but I'm getting hungry! I need a mid-morning snack...