The one with the weigh in...

Well, it's been 1 week without carbs. You know what that means? That's right... WEIGH IN!!!

*drum roll*

I lost 8.6 pounds! At one point this week, I was down 10 pounds. I don't know what the difference is.. but I'm happy with that loss. Why? Because I lost the wedding weight!

So, we're onto week two. I'm going to be honest with you- I ate an atkins product last night that was for phases 2-4.. but it was good and I don't regret it!

Today, we're having a cookout at work and then there is a BBQ tomorrow. I'm hoping I can resist everything for these 2 days.. but if I can't.. i'll just pick up where i left off and deal with the consequences. Life happens.. as they say...

But here's hoping to being on point!

The one with the first low carb weekend re-cap..

I took the weekend to not eat carbs. I'm not going to lie, I had a moment of "what the hell am I doing??" on Saturday and almost gave up. But, I've committed to 1 month, so I'm going to give it an honest shot.

Well, my wedding weight is gone. Beyond that, I'll report on Friday.

So, I've been eating mainly meat. It's a lot more meat and a far fewer veggies than I had been eating previously. I'm not used to that. On Friday, we had chicken with cheese and bacon. After that, I was immediately over bacon. J and I ended up having bacon wrapped scallops on Saturday. So far, Sunday's dinner was my favorite- eggplant pizzas.

Now, I loaded my pizza with meat and cheese (sorry.. that's how I've *always* liked my pizza), but it was very delicious! It was a fork and knife kind of pizza, but I'm sure I can fiddle with the recipe and make it more "french bread" like. Basically, you cut an eggplant in half- hollow it out, fill it with toppings/sauce of your choice. What I like about this is I can make it for low carb friends, healthy eating friends, and people that don't care about either of that! The strangest part? I hate eggplant.. but it was gooooood!

Rewind. Saturday was the worst day so far. I really wanted some bread. That's all.. a piece of bread. I felt sick and tired and hated this all. Twon said that 2 or 3 days in I would be very sluggish and it would be the worst.. then I would get over that hump and be okay. I'm hoping that was the hump.. 'cause it sucked. Yesterday, I felt okay.. but I had gone out to lunch with my mom and husband. I had a small cup of chili (which while still low carb.. had more carbs than expected) and seared ahi tuna.. which had a sweet sauce that I had to dab off... so maybe that little bit of sugar made the rest of my day better. Plus the eggplant.

So.. that's about all I have for now. I'm hoping the worst is over.. but I promise to freak out if I need to here :)

The one with all the promises..

Welp, I got married. The weather held out wonderfully! It was great to see family and friends and celebrate with everyone!

Our food a the wedding was not the healthiest. J was in charge of ordering it and he ordered for 100 people... we had about 60 (if you include children), so we have so much food left over. I wanted to donate it to a homeless shelter, but J's mom offered to freeze it for us. Though i'm loving the left over buffalo chicken, I'm officially over ziti and chicken parm!

So, I took a break from the diet/weight loss for the wedding- didn't want to stress. I was eating healthy (until this past week) and trying.. but things definitely got out of hand with parties, events, and leftovers. So, I decided to try to combine efforts- I've decided to try a low carb diet combined with whole eating. Low carb is really very good for PCOS (which I have), so I figured might as well give it a shot.

Now, I'm going to start this on Friday, so I have 3 days to get as much information on low carb/healthy eating as possible. I don't eat much meat and don't really want that to change too much. I can replace meals with tofu and eggs. I have my notebook and my pen.. I'm ready to learn!

Anyway, that's all I have for now. I haven't weighed myself... Friday's confession is going to be terrible.. but I'm going to be honest!!

Ok.. I've been out of work for a few days.. I should get back to it.

The one with all the green..

I am a very positive person. I see the silver lining of every cloud and try to see good in every body (though sometimes it's hard). Interestingly enough, I am also very judgmental. Anyone that knows me recognizes that I have issues with the way I am perceived by others. It's one of the biggest things I wish to change about myself. Something I do not want to pass onto my children.

I've been working very hard at changing my attitude and life.

Recently, I stumbled upon a blog called Operation Beautiful. I love the idea behind this and may start leaving my own notes around town.

These changes I'm making in my life are first and foremost for health. Weight loss and beauty are secondary, and I feel very good about that.

Changes I've noticed involve feeling less sluggish and fewer instances of bloat. My skin has been glowy and soft. And my attitude toward food is changing. I'm still not in love with vegetables, but I find myself wanting to eat them.

Yesterday, for instance, I went to TGIFriday's with my mother. I ordered a salmon and rice dish that came with broccoli. I hate broccoli, but the girl said it was the only veggie they had. I had no intention of eating, but after eating most of the salmon and half the rice, I knew I needed to get some veggies in me. I ate the broccoli. Not all of it, mind you, but probably half of it. This is not something I would usually do. Sure, a past incarnation of myself may have tried it, but this was different- I kept coming back for more! I still think the stuff is gross, though.

But today I'm back on the veggie bandwagon. I made a green monster that was very tasty and very simple.. but I'm getting hungry! I need a mid-morning snack...

The one where caffeine made her forget what she wrote...

Good morning! I'm not feeling very well today and I'm not entirely sure what it is. I had a chai tea which may have had too much caffeine for me. I'm kinda flying high. Then again, it could be the green monster I had today, or the chia seeds I added to it. Who knows, really.

I've been blogging my foods in another blog. It's been really fun taking pictures and talking about food! I also like keeping this blog here more about weightloss and life in general. I think eventually the two will merge, but I'm not ready for that yet.

I woke up this morning NOT ready for my day. I could have slept until noon. I don't like this feeling. I really need to start heading back to the gym in the morning. I miss the energy I had from it and need to be less sluggish in the a.m.

The wedding is 2 weeks away and the booked weekends are already starting. I have a bridal shower Saturday, then my mom has asked that she get me for the day on Sunday. I have this feeling that it's more for manual labor than fun wedding stuff, but who knows! Next weekend is supposed to be my bachelorette party.. which is looking more like Anthony and I going out to eat and then getting drunk. If we're able to get more people, then YAY! But honestly, if it's just the two of us.. that would be great, too.

Well, I should get to work. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

The one with just another manic Monday..

Well, I'm day whatever into my drinking a glass of lemon water in the morning.. and I feel pretty good! I can't really put my finger on it- energy, cleanliness, hunger? Who knows? But I think I dig it. J's been doing it, too. He seems to like it as well. I'd recommend it to people.

I ate a lot of veggies this weekend- more than I EVER do. Last night's dinner.. well.. didn't work out as planned. I ended up using pasta with the salmon, but felt really guilty about there not being much in the way of veggies! So I threw some spinach and tomatoes in with the pasta. It was pretty tasty, but I'm really trying to limit my intake of pasta.

Exercising just hasn't been happening lately. I'm so tired in the morning and/or just have so much else to do! Get lunch ready, wash my hair, etc. I'm going to have to start getting back to the gym before I lose all motivation.

I suppose that's about it for now. The weekend was pretty relaxing. I got to hang out with a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while, and got some wedding stuff done. I also made AND DRANK more iced tea than I should have.. but damn.. it's just so good!

Also, my other friend's husband was in a terrible accident this weekend. He's alive and nothing is broken, but he's going to be in the hospital for a while and their car is busted. It makes me sad to see my friends in such pain.. and it really has made me very clingy to J this weekend (like when I told him this morning that he couldn't go to poker tonight because I wanted to hug him when I got home.. yeah.. I'm insane.. and I was kidding.. mostly)

Well, enough of this. Happy Monday, Friends!

The one where she feels overwhelmed...

Ugh.. I overslept again this morning. I *really* thought it was 5:45.. but no.. it was 6:45. I have to plug in a loud alarm. I'm going to have to ease back in to my c25k!

Yesterday, J and I met up with L for a "hike". It was more of a long walk- 2 hours or so. Unfortunately, I was running on 2 and a half hours of sleep, so I was just about as miserable as I could be.

Also, I picked up a heart rate monitor this weekend. I'm curious to try it out. I'll fiddle with it tonight and do a workout. I really need to get a workout in. And I WILL wake up on time tomorrow! I have to!

J and I set a date for the wedding- April 30,2011. Now, I still have my goal set for November 3,2011.. but I'm really going to have to kick it up a notch to make sure I have as much weight lost as I can by the wedding date. That gives me a year. If I could lose 50 pounds, I'd be happy! Of course... to keep on track with my November goal, I need to lose 61 pounds by then (average of 1.1 pounds per week. EEEK!). Oh well... I wouldn't mind losing 61 pounds instead of 50.

So that's that. I'm feeling very boring lately. For this, I apologize.
M

Adjusting the attitude...

Well, I went to the gym this morning. I didn't do much cardio as I left my ipod in my car, but I did do weights. I didn't want to go. I wanted to sleep. I wanted it to be Sunday so I could NOT go to work. It's been raining for days and it's very much a curl up in bed kind of day.

The only exercise I got all weekend was shoveling food into my mouth. I didn't even WANT have the stuff I ate.. I just ate it. I have no one to blame but myself. Now it's time to move on.

I'm using the rain as an excuse not to go to yoga tonight. My driveway floods pretty bad and I'd like to get home while it's light out (instead of 9pm).

I feel like I'm in a limbo right now. I have this goal of losing weight and getting fit, but I keep sabotaging myself. Every week that passes is one less week I have to hit goal. I know I'm making progress- I can feel it in my body.. but the part of me that wants instant satisfaction is feeling defeated. I have a fairly good support system.. but the people that are working with me have nowhere near as much weight to lose as I do. I find myself jealous. J says "wow, 17 pounds! Do you know how amazing that is? If *I* lost 17 pounds I'd be where I want to be!" Oh those words make me want to punch him in the neck. I lost 17 pounds and am just above where I was the last time I lost a good amount of weight. I feel like I'm just starting now.. but I won't get that wonderful week one weight loss.

I just have to keep plugging along. I have to keep being positive and knowing that I am doing things that are good for me.

So, here is my plan of action:
Tonight, I'm going to get all of my stuff together for tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up early and get to the gym. I'm going to do my c25k followed by my 40 minutes on the bike. That'll be just over 60 minutes of cardio.
Wednesday, I'll go to the gym and do my c25k and weights.
Thursday (depending on when I get home on Wednesday night) I'll hit the gym with 40 or so minutes on the bike.
Friday, I'll hit c25k and weights again.
Saturday AND Sunday, I will work out. It's supposed to be nice this weekend, so maybe I'll hit the park and try my hand at some outside running.

I have to change my attitude today. When I was at the gym this morning, I was crabby for most of my work out.. then I heard my power song. You know that song that makes you say "crap! I need to change" or "I can do this!" As I heard that song playing (Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield), I started to rethink by crabitude (totally a word).

Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you..

Only I can lose this weight. Only I can get healthy. Only I can make myself a runner. Only I can make healthy food choices for myself...

Only I can do this. And I WILL do this.

Saturday!!

I'm sitting at my mom's house watching what can only be described as a modern day Monkees. Truth be told, I love tween TV (iCarly FTW!).

After a super crabby day yesterday, L and I went to the gym so I could finish my first week of c25k and she could try her first day. I'm so glad I went. I felt 100 times better! I was able to ease my guilt over eating buffalo chicken and a cupcake and even not be hungry the rest of the night (and not dip too much into my WPAs). It's really amazing what exercise can do for you.. and I need to stop trying to skip any days during the week.

We're going to be doing yoga at work on Wednesdays and Fridays. Coupled with Monday night yoga.. I'm pretty stoked about this.

What else? Oh! It's GORGEOUS out! Like seriously amazing. 54 degrees and sunny.. I'm so ready for spring. I think tomorrow I'll go to the park and go for a walk/run. I'm very excited.

Ok, enough of this. I'm going to finish drinking my unsweetened iced tea and enjoy my day. Sushi tonight!!!

M

Successful weekend! Successful Monday!

3 days I went without even a lick of exercise (aside from the 3.5 pushups and 10 or so sit ups J challenged me to do yesterday). I could feel it! I was itching for some action! I tried some pilates yesterday, but my bum bum was hurting! [A little over a year ago I was snow blowing and slipped on a patch of ice right on my bum. Everything went white and I screamed. I fell. I cracked my tail bone and was in pain for months. Even now, if I sit too long at the movies or a sporting event it hurts. So, going forward, calling my bum bum is not me being cute.. it's bum (like broken) bum (like bottom).] So, this morning, I planned on restarting my c25k (the coolrunnings.com version) but did not want to get out of bed! Knowing this would happen, I enlisted J in helping me get up! It worked and I got to the gym (thank god!).

I promised myself I would finish it- no matter how hard. So, per the instructions, I did a 10 (ok, 6) minute warm up walk, then ran for 60 seconds followed by a walk for 90 seconds.. continuing for 20 minutes. There were bursts where I wanted to stop. I thought "I have the hang of this, I can go to the machines now." But the bitchy controlling side of me said, "NO! You promised you'd finish this. You have no problem running in 1 minute bursts. Stop being a p*ssy and RUN!" And when I finished my last burst of running, I had a huge smile on my face!

My face was red and I was sweaty, but I wasn't panting and I had finished! It was also the most cardio I've done at the gym. I just hate cardio so much! I need to change that mindset. But that's for another day.

Yoga tonight!!

I have officially fallen off the Red Bull wagon. I just like the taste! I'll work on it, though. On Saturday night, T walked in and saw a can of red bull and made fun of me for it. I then showed him the other can.. which he had not seen. Good times.

The good news is that I ate SO FREAKIN' WELL this weekend! That was a hurdle I really wanted to make sure I leaped over and I did! I'm really glad I didn't binge. It makes me feel very good!

And I think that's about it. I want to write about my strange sense of age. Maybe I'll do that later *shrug*.

Until next time...
M