The one in which she rambles about exercise

I feel lucky to enjoy my gym routine. Granted, there is the occasional day where dragging myself out of bed is the last thing I want to go. Usually, that goes away once I'm up. Every once in a while, I have a day like yesterday. I did not want to go to the gym. I did not want to get out of my car once I was there. I did not want to get on the treadmill. I did not want to lift weights. This very much hindered my work out, but I still did it. By the end, I was ecstatic.

This morning was different. I had a goal: c25k week 3 day 1 and 40+ minutes of the bike. So, I walked into the gym and hopped on the tread mill. 5 minute warm up, then 90 seconds of running followed by 90 seconds of walking. Easy. Now for the new thing- 3 minutes of running followed by 3 minutes of walking. Yikes! But I've been building up to this.. no biggie. 90 seconds of running- 90 seconds of walking. Not as easy as the first time.. but better than the 3 minutes! Then, my last burst: 3 minutes of running and 3 minutes of walking. This was harder. Once the first minute came down, I was very much "I CAN DO THIS!".. then the first second after the first minute and I thought, "well, I did skip the last day of week 2.. maybe I should just stop after 90 seconds." Needless to say, I did not. I have to tell you.. it felt great! I was breathing harder and sweating.. but at the end, I wasn't panting and I felt accomplished!

Next, I moved onto the bike. Almost the same story.. at 10 minutes, I told myself I'd stop at 15. At 15- 20. At 20- 30. Once I got to 30 minutes, I knew I had to finish the last 12-13 minutes I had left of the show I was watching. I popped off (covered in sweat), cleaned up, then off i went to work.

I did over an hour of cardio today. This is big for me. I didn't push myself as hard on the bike as I usually do.. but it was level 7 or 8 (I don't remember) and when I would notice myself slacking.. I would pick it up!

Boring boring exercise talk.. I know.. but I read an article today that totally made sense and I figured I'd share. It's about learning to love exercise as a way to a lifestyle change. i really do think that if you're going to go from sedentary to active, you need to start with something you very much enjoy.

Back when I first started exercise, I just popped on the treadmill for 20 minutes and called it a day. I like to walk- always have.. and this was a good segue for me. We got a personal trainer and he showed me the machines that had intimidated me. Well, once I realized how great THAT was, my warm up was the treadmill followed by trying to beat my previous score on weights. It works for me. I'm taking the same approach to running. Being able to see my improvement does amazing things for me. Being able to push myself just a little harder when I don't think I can.. and then succeeding... well.. it's just amazing.

I created a list of goals that I want to post here. I'm pretty open with my weight and it will be up here, but I'm scared that J will start reading this that day.. and I'm just not ready to share the number with him. Though I don't think he would care... part of me just isn't sure. =/

Anyway.. that's all I really wanted to talk about today. Hope I didn't ramble too much...

M

Adjusting the attitude...

Well, I went to the gym this morning. I didn't do much cardio as I left my ipod in my car, but I did do weights. I didn't want to go. I wanted to sleep. I wanted it to be Sunday so I could NOT go to work. It's been raining for days and it's very much a curl up in bed kind of day.

The only exercise I got all weekend was shoveling food into my mouth. I didn't even WANT have the stuff I ate.. I just ate it. I have no one to blame but myself. Now it's time to move on.

I'm using the rain as an excuse not to go to yoga tonight. My driveway floods pretty bad and I'd like to get home while it's light out (instead of 9pm).

I feel like I'm in a limbo right now. I have this goal of losing weight and getting fit, but I keep sabotaging myself. Every week that passes is one less week I have to hit goal. I know I'm making progress- I can feel it in my body.. but the part of me that wants instant satisfaction is feeling defeated. I have a fairly good support system.. but the people that are working with me have nowhere near as much weight to lose as I do. I find myself jealous. J says "wow, 17 pounds! Do you know how amazing that is? If *I* lost 17 pounds I'd be where I want to be!" Oh those words make me want to punch him in the neck. I lost 17 pounds and am just above where I was the last time I lost a good amount of weight. I feel like I'm just starting now.. but I won't get that wonderful week one weight loss.

I just have to keep plugging along. I have to keep being positive and knowing that I am doing things that are good for me.

So, here is my plan of action:
Tonight, I'm going to get all of my stuff together for tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up early and get to the gym. I'm going to do my c25k followed by my 40 minutes on the bike. That'll be just over 60 minutes of cardio.
Wednesday, I'll go to the gym and do my c25k and weights.
Thursday (depending on when I get home on Wednesday night) I'll hit the gym with 40 or so minutes on the bike.
Friday, I'll hit c25k and weights again.
Saturday AND Sunday, I will work out. It's supposed to be nice this weekend, so maybe I'll hit the park and try my hand at some outside running.

I have to change my attitude today. When I was at the gym this morning, I was crabby for most of my work out.. then I heard my power song. You know that song that makes you say "crap! I need to change" or "I can do this!" As I heard that song playing (Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield), I started to rethink by crabitude (totally a word).

Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you..

Only I can lose this weight. Only I can get healthy. Only I can make myself a runner. Only I can make healthy food choices for myself...

Only I can do this. And I WILL do this.

86 weeks.....

It's amazing the power that a tag in a pair of pants can have. Aside from the fact that said tag is itching the crapola out of me today, it has a number that is mathematically 4 less than the number that was on the pair of pants I wore on Monday. Now, these pants are a little stretchy, so I'm probably down only one size rather than 2.. but it's still an amazing feeling!

Tonight, J is finally cashing in his birthday present from me. We're going to see Garrison Keillor in Providence. I'm really looking forward to it! I can't help but wonder if J and I will be the youngest willing attendees.

You know, my love for NPR is one of those things that makes me feel way older than I am. It's basically the only thing I listen to in the car. Of course, that feeling of oldness is countered by things like my iCarly fandom and wanting a bounce house at my wedding.

These are the things on my mind this morning. Tomorrow morning I shall complete my second week of couch to 5k and prepare for my second to last weekend at my Mom's. From here, I'll leave you with a quote that was on a blog that I read yesterday that I really liked (I run-on sentence like a master!!):

"He who argues for his limitations gets to keep them." ~Richard Bach

M

The conflict of body and mind...

My mind needed this morning's work out. My body did not want it at all.

My alarm went off at 5:15- as it does every morning. Usually, I hit snooze or off and sleep for an additional 15-30 minutes. This morning, J started talking. He told me about a dream he had (which happens often), then started asking if I was going to the gym (yes! later!), then... started reading me his emails (from like Amazon). I wanted to roll over and rip his head off. That's when I knew that whatever else happened today.. I had to go to the gym.

So, I'm at the gym after a cranky start to my morning. I'm running (day 1 week 2 of c25k) and doing weights. The sun is shining into the gym and i'm tired and want to curl up and go back to bed. Once I finished, I do my thing, get dressed, and leave. While walking to my car I felt like I was going to yack. I knew then and there that going to the gym this morning was a bad idea.

I'm happy I went since I did not go to the gym this weekend, and I'm happy I started my second week of c25k, but I really REALLY could have used an extra half hour of sleep. I hope this mood subsides.. and if I don't feel well by the end of the day, I may have to skip yoga.. I hope I don't.. but, well.. I still feel icky.

M

Saturday!!

I'm sitting at my mom's house watching what can only be described as a modern day Monkees. Truth be told, I love tween TV (iCarly FTW!).

After a super crabby day yesterday, L and I went to the gym so I could finish my first week of c25k and she could try her first day. I'm so glad I went. I felt 100 times better! I was able to ease my guilt over eating buffalo chicken and a cupcake and even not be hungry the rest of the night (and not dip too much into my WPAs). It's really amazing what exercise can do for you.. and I need to stop trying to skip any days during the week.

We're going to be doing yoga at work on Wednesdays and Fridays. Coupled with Monday night yoga.. I'm pretty stoked about this.

What else? Oh! It's GORGEOUS out! Like seriously amazing. 54 degrees and sunny.. I'm so ready for spring. I think tomorrow I'll go to the park and go for a walk/run. I'm very excited.

Ok, enough of this. I'm going to finish drinking my unsweetened iced tea and enjoy my day. Sushi tonight!!!

M

Priorities

More often than not, my blogs are starting out with me describing how I had to convince myself to get up and go to the gym. Mind you, it's not that I really have to convince myself to go to the gym.. it's really convincing myself to wake up for the day. I find I have the same problem even when I don't intend to go to the gym.

That being said, I had a hard time getting up today. I've been skipping Wednesdays because I'm up so late watching Lost and the weather sucks and I wanna sleep. Today, I managed to convince myself that I'll probably skip tomorrow because of weather/tired and I should get up and go. So I did. Day 2 of c25k and it was easier than last time.. almost enjoyable!

When I got home, the following exchange took place on twitter:
psykochatter: Work is optional, right? Need.sleep.
iTwon: @psykochatter no, but the gym is
psykochatter: @iTwon no! The gym is NOT optional! Once I make the gym optional, I might as well order a few pizzas with a side of chinese and watch tv!

Admittedly, that sounds wonderful. Mmm, I could go for Chinese right now. *ahem* Not the point, Megan. Focus. This exchange got me thinking about how exercise has to be non negotiable. This is a hard thing to get your head around if you're going from a pretty sedentary lifestyle.. believe me, I know! But look at the things that we make non negotiable in our life: eating, sleeping, brushing our teeth, showering. These are all things we do for our health, to live, and to keep our sanity. Then there are the things we think are non negotiable.. but really aren't: watching Lost, dessert, going online, speeding. Finally, we have those things that should be non negotiable, but all too often they are skipped or forgotten: exercise, vegetables, quiet time, enough sleep.

It's when we start moving things around that our lives and our health really start falling into place. I have goals- weight goals and physical goals. The only way I'm going to reach these is by making sure I give exercise the importance it deserves. Now, I am fortunate enough to really enjoy exercise, so once I'm out of bed and out the door, the rest is easy. But what about people that don't like to exercise?

Well, I didn't get in the predicament I'm in by exercising. I know what it's like to rather sit and watch TV... to want to relax.. to want to hang out with friends. I think it's a matter of finding something that you want to accomplish. Like, I've always wanted to be a runner. I've wanted to be one of those people that can just take off to clear my head. Be able to exercise any time, anywhere. The problem was always that I hated being bad at things.. and I was bad at being in shape. Sure, I could walk the sh*t out of anything, but there's something about people that run that I've always admired. I wanted to go from lazy to marathon with no effort. Let me tell you- that didn't work.

The other thing is to find something you enjoy- be it a DVD, Wii, the gym, walking, skating, etc. SOMETHING! There are ladies I know that love love love the elliptical. I hate it. I can't stand it. I can't control my speed, I get bored, it's just not for me. The treadmill, however, I like. I can adjust the speed if necessary, I can convert walking or running on it to the real world, they're not always full (*bonus!), and I just find I have more options with it.

I don't know. I just think there is *something* for everyone... it's just a matter of finding it. This is just what was on my mind today, and a change in attitude me thinks. I suppose we'll see.

My knees ache. Remind me to take some aleve tonight.

Until next time..
M

Successful weekend! Successful Monday!

3 days I went without even a lick of exercise (aside from the 3.5 pushups and 10 or so sit ups J challenged me to do yesterday). I could feel it! I was itching for some action! I tried some pilates yesterday, but my bum bum was hurting! [A little over a year ago I was snow blowing and slipped on a patch of ice right on my bum. Everything went white and I screamed. I fell. I cracked my tail bone and was in pain for months. Even now, if I sit too long at the movies or a sporting event it hurts. So, going forward, calling my bum bum is not me being cute.. it's bum (like broken) bum (like bottom).] So, this morning, I planned on restarting my c25k (the coolrunnings.com version) but did not want to get out of bed! Knowing this would happen, I enlisted J in helping me get up! It worked and I got to the gym (thank god!).

I promised myself I would finish it- no matter how hard. So, per the instructions, I did a 10 (ok, 6) minute warm up walk, then ran for 60 seconds followed by a walk for 90 seconds.. continuing for 20 minutes. There were bursts where I wanted to stop. I thought "I have the hang of this, I can go to the machines now." But the bitchy controlling side of me said, "NO! You promised you'd finish this. You have no problem running in 1 minute bursts. Stop being a p*ssy and RUN!" And when I finished my last burst of running, I had a huge smile on my face!

My face was red and I was sweaty, but I wasn't panting and I had finished! It was also the most cardio I've done at the gym. I just hate cardio so much! I need to change that mindset. But that's for another day.

Yoga tonight!!

I have officially fallen off the Red Bull wagon. I just like the taste! I'll work on it, though. On Saturday night, T walked in and saw a can of red bull and made fun of me for it. I then showed him the other can.. which he had not seen. Good times.

The good news is that I ate SO FREAKIN' WELL this weekend! That was a hurdle I really wanted to make sure I leaped over and I did! I'm really glad I didn't binge. It makes me feel very good!

And I think that's about it. I want to write about my strange sense of age. Maybe I'll do that later *shrug*.

Until next time...
M